I'm back...again! My mom came to town this weekend, and it was the perfect way to spend a birthday weekend. I know that many people have complicated relationships with family, but for me, having my mom around is really refreshing, and it's really fun to show her my life. My parents live pretty far away, and so many things that I talk about are just vague pictures in their heads. It's really nice to put faces with names and locations with stories.
I am more than a bit behind on blogging, but I figure that's okay. Here's a quick recap of outfits as of late:
Thursday was basically a replay of Tuesday. Wednesday night, just like Monday night, I looked in my closet to see if I had any dresses that I hadn't worn in a while. I then looked for one that didn't require ironing. And, good news for me:
When I found one, I decided my outfit was complete. I paired this one with some new sandals I bought with a coupon I had from DSW.
I knew I had a long day of walking, so I avoided heels. I also have this rule I stick to that I tend to reserve heels for longer skirts/dresses and pair flats with skirts/dresses that hit a bit above the knee. It's a weird rule, especially since my legs are so short that nothing is ever that short on me, but I stick to it most of the time.
As for the sandals, these aren't quite as comfortable as the black ones I wore a few Fridays ago, but they still made it easier to survive the day.
1. When selecting an outfit and shoes, be realistic about what you are doing at work that day and what you have going on after work. No matter how cute your shoes are, if they kill your feet, you won't look so cute by the end of the day. And if a dress doesn't work for what you have planned for the day, you'll resent it (I know--it doesn't have intent--it's inanimate) for making you uncomfortable.
2. Know what's in your closet, and if possible, have levels of effort/comfort. While you'll always need something for a job interview or a parent-teacher conference, you'll also need something for emergencies--oversleeping, spilling something on your original outfit while getting ready, etc. And you probably want some outfits for days when you're not feelin' it but you don't want your students to know that. If everything you have is super-fitted, you don't really have something to wear on the day when you are planning on hitting up the soccer game right after school. If everything in your closet is on the more casual side, it's hard to attend a school board meeting after school.
I completely disappeared this week, but I like to think I had a good reason. My birthday was this week, and then my mom came to town! We decided to do every girly thing we could think of since my dad didn't come along this time. Today was the pinnacle when we went for tea at the Ritz. Evidently we were dining with somebody important since, as we left, we saw three Secret Service officers and a dog. Welcome to DC, Mom.
I'll get to all three days at some point, but here's the first day I'm missing.
Wednesday was my birthday. I had written over the weekend about the tricky parts of this birthday, but the actual day was amazing. Amazing friends brought flowers to my classroom, brought cake and donuts and cards with kind words. My students sang "Happy Birthday" to me and some of them even brought me a cake. It was an amazing day. I got kind text messages and Facebook posts. I got to talk to some of my favorite people. I spent the whole day feeling loved. Some birthdays seem to go by without much fanfare, but this one was spectacular. I don't know that I've ever had such a birthday full of love and reminders of the way God has graciously brought dear friends into my path and created a community for me at work and beyond.
I think this birthday also reminded me of why we need community. I took my mom by my school yesterday to meet my students and some of my co-workers. As we left, she noted that they were all just nice and interesting people. We talked about how fortunate I am to have a place like that to go every day for work. I agree. I think, over a decade into teaching, the people I've worked with at various schools have shown me how much the people around me make it possible for me to love my job. When I get to spend time with people who are thoughtful about what they do, who have a deep desire to positively impact students' lives, and who genuinely care about the people they work with, it makes the frustrating parts of my job manageable. I know I'm saying that from a place that is much different than many teachers. The frustrating parts of my job are not comparable to the unbearable frustrations of some teachers. So I don't say that to say every teacher could handle their situations if they just focused on the positive. But on days like today, I am reminded of how much I rely on the generous support system I am fortunate to have.
I ended my birthday with two other delightful things: My favorite yoga class and a homemade cherry pie made by two fantastic friends. Having two friends with five kids between them take time to bake me a pie after a full day of parenting/working overwhelmed me. It was great to have the time to be around them, and the pie was a delicious treat. I'll have to talk about how I fell in love with yoga some other day, but it was great to exercise and then eat pie!
As for what one wear's on a 36th birthday, here's the answer:
I decided that it was my birthday, and I could dress how I wanted to. These "girlfriend pants" are really comfortable, and Gap sells them in about a million colors. They remind me that the 90s are coming back strong, but I actually like this part of that time period. Here's the link.
The shirt is from J Crew Factory, last season. I probably own more white and off-white sleeveless shirts than what is needed, but it is nice to have options, and it means I can rather quickly throw an outfit together if I don't feel particularly creative or if I have a colorful item that I want to wear (like bright pink pants).
The cardigan is something I'm still figuring out. Banana Republic has some really light weight "boyfriend cardigans" this year, and I like the weight of them, but I'm still figuring out how to wear them. I'm thinking this one might actually look cuter with some skinny jeans and heels, but I'll let you know. I normally have a "one baggy item per outfit" unofficial rule. If my pants are a bit of a looser fit, then I tend to go for a more fitted shirt, and if I'm in a pencil skirt, I tend to pick a silk blouse or something similar to balance out the fitted skirt. I'm not sure where I picked up this rule, but I think it might have been from What Not to Wear. I think the mixing of fits helps in some way. Maybe that's just in my head. Here's the specific cardigan.
The shoes are Birks, and I'll say again that I love them more than I thought I could love a pair of shoes. There's something in the lining that makes them super soft, and since they're Birks, they do that cool conform to you feet thing that makes wearing them all day delightful. As much as I typically buy cheaper shoes, I am pretty sure these were a good investment. The last pair I had, I wore for years (and even had them re-soled at one point). As much as I walk around during the average school day or the average day in the city, I think these are going to pay off.
As for tips for today--both unsolicited life advice and clothing tips:
1. If your birthday is on a week day, and students find out, it will often be a delightful day full of nice comments.
2. I was reminded that I need to be better about making other people's birthdays special because it meant SO much to me.
3. As for clothes, it's always a good idea to have a pair or two of chinos that you can wear on days when you don't feel like being super fancy. This is definitely a perk of the teacher wardrobe. Even if you decide that you want your teacher wardrobe to fall on the dressy side of the spectrum, know that there will be days when you aren't feeling well, or you're having the kids watch a documentary so you won't be in front of the class much, or you are just tired of wearing dresses. It's good to have something to fall back on.
4. While I always hope that all of my shoes are really comfortable, I do like having one pair that I KNOW will make my feet happy.
5. I'll say again that I'm obsessed with balancing loose fitting and fitted. With the exception of dresses (but even then I like it if the bottom half of the dress is less fitted than the top half), I try to make sure the top half of my outfit and the bottom half are different fits.
No joke, this is how I decided on the outfit I wore today.
"Hmmm...I'm so tired...I really don't want to iron."
Pause.
"Oh--I think that one dress doesn't need to be ironed."
Pause.
"So. I'll wear that...and some shoes."
Pause.
"I guess I could pack some jewelry too."
Pause.
"So...to sleep then?"
No joke--half of the time, if you see me wearing a dress, no matter how uncomfortable it may appear, I'm probably wearing it because it doesn't need to be ironed, and it seemed like way too much effort to find a skirt and a shirt that went together.
But, I feel like it's time to explain the back story of my love of dresses. Please amuse me, and let me explain the basic way I came to have my current wardrobe.
Step One: I gained a ton of weight in grad school. Shocking, I know. Stress and lots of time sitting on a couch reading and writing might make one eat constantly for 2 years.
Step Two: During my first year of teaching, I joined the YMCA and slowly got back to a healthy weight.
Step Three: Over the summer, I had to build up a new wardrobe since most of my clothes no longer fit.
I decided that if I was going to basically start from scratch, I might as well up my game. During my first year of teaching, I figured some things out (Note: Plenty of teachers take a completely different approach to their wardrobe, and I respect that. This is just what I decided worked for me.):
1. I resented the idea that all of my friends in office jobs got to wear cute business clothes to work every day. I had grown up talking about ties and suits with my dad, so I had always assumed that I would be getting dressed "for the office" when I grew up.
2. I didn't need to resent those people because nothing was stopping me from wearing those same cute clothes.
3. I wanted my students and their guardians and anyone else who entered my classroom to know that I took my job seriously, and I thought dressing in business attire might send that message faster than anything I could say. There are, of course. plenty of ways to establish that. I just decided that my clothing choices would be how I would establish my ethos.
4. For my students planning on entering a field in which business attire was expected, I wanted to give them an idea of what their wardrobe might look like, especially if their parents were in fields in which they weren't required to wear business clothes to work.
So, all that to say, I'm a huge fan of dresses that allow me to feel professional even if my reason for choosing to wear that particular one is because it didn't require ironing. Even as we speak, I'm deciding if ironing my chinos is too much work. If you see me wearing another dress tomorrow, you'll know I decided the answer was, "Yes!"
As to this dress, I bought it last spring. It's a J Crew Factory purchase, and I'll say again how much I love the way they cut their dresses. I feel like their dresses allow me to feel put together without having to spend much effort. This one doesn't have stretch in it, but I don't really mind because it has enough room for me to not feel trapped. While they don't have this pattern this year, I think these dresses are a similar design: A linen blend
The shoes are actually a bit of a surprise. I always try to have a back-up pair of brown or black shoes. I think I do this so I don't have to wear the same ones every day. This pair was originally purchased in the fall partly because Kate Middleton wears shoes this color (and she's awesome) and partly because I needed a back-up. I think these shoes are about to become the Dak Prescott of my closet.
=
I love them, and they go with everything, and they don't kill my feet. Who knew? So, if you see them on my feet all of the time, you'll know why. They come in brown and black.
Okay--it's been a bit of a crazy day, so I'll leave you with a few final thoughts:
1. Dresses are your friend. They make deciding on what to wear a million times easier, and they often give off a professional vibe.
2. While finding a company that understands how clothes work for you might take a while, it's worth the effort. If you find a store that cuts dresses in a way that works for you, you can often buy dresses there year after year without much trouble.
Happy Tuesday! Today I have happy news. Over the weekend, I found a skirt that might be my new favorite. This skirt from Banana Republic is everything I dream of in a skirt--it's a neutral, has stretch, and the cut gives you a professional look. This is the Holy Grail of skirts (much like the Holy Grail of dresses that I discussed before). When I tried this on, I might have let out a squeal of joy. I bought a similar skirt 7 years ago, but, as you might guess, it's gotten a bit worn out over the years, and I'd been wearing it less and less. I'm excited to have a replacement. Here's the actual skirt. I love it so much that I would buy 4 more if they came in different colors.
I don't think I've said this since I started the blog, but go buy this skirt immediately. It's so comfortable, but it looks like you are all dressed up. And you don't have to worry about buying anything to go with it because it goes with anything currently in your closet. It's even on sale!
As for the rest of the outfit, the shirt is one of my weaknesses--I really, really love striped shirts and I love this one because it avoids the annoyance of a button-up shirt. I also like that this is sleeveless because then there isn't that annoying issue of your shirt sleeves getting stuck in your cardigan. And if you've ever met me, you know I always have a cardigan with me.
The shoes are also from this season. This is probably the only time I've been able to say that all parts of my outfit are from this season. But I think that's a good thing. If you know you can build a wardrobe over time, and that you don't have to change out everything every season, it takes away some of the stress of starting out as a professional. Anyway--these shoes are, obviously, not as comfortable as a pair of flats, but they aren't too bad. The way I survive wearing heals like these all day is to...well...not. I keep a pair of flip flops or slippers under my desk at all times. If my feet start to hurt, or I'm just hanging out at my desk during my planning period, then I just slip into my comfy shoes.
I'm also wearing a pair of my favorite earrings. I love being able to just throw on a pair of basic earrings without having to really think about it, and these fit that description. I think I purchased these a few years ago, but here are some similar options: A pair that makes me think of the scene from Mean Girls
Okay--so on to my tips for the day:
1. Look for skirts that are structured in the way they are cut but are made of forgiving material.
2. If you're like I was when I first started teaching, and you're building up a professional wardrobe from scratch, it's worth the time to actually go to the store, look around, and try things on. So often I only end up in the store if I have a store-only coupon or I need to return something, but things look different in the store than they do online. I've also been guilty of assuming I know my body type really well only to find out that what fits me well isn't what I thought would fit me well.
3. Always have back-up comfy shoes hiding at work. This is especially true if you are wearing a pair of shoes for the first time or have a long day ahead of you.
Well-that's all for this outfit. I'm planning to follow this one up with Tuesday's (today's) outfit. Hope this helps.
It's Friday, and today was full of nice people and funny moments and ended in tears. I'll get there.
During our study period, my department chairs rolled in with a cart full of office supplies, and then they said the words every teacher dreams of hearing, "Take whatever you want!"
What? Are you serious? At the time of the year when most of us are shaking markers to try to get them to work for just a few more minutes, my delightful department chairs brought me markers--and not some off-brand, boring black markers, but EXPO markers in 8, yes 8, different colors. Here are just a few of my new friends.
My students mocked me for my excitement at the joys of name brand markers, so I had to demonstrate the difference. They then decided to make other comparisons of things that were as different as an EXPO marker and a generic marker. Here are the results:
Soon after this, one of my students started talking to me about his plan to get coffee after this class (since he has an open period after my class). He promised to return with a caffeinated beverage for me as well. I didn't really believe him, and then he returned with this a while later. (I know--I need to stop drinking these--that's the summer goal. I'm not mean enough to put my students through dealing with me while I get off caffeine.)
Some times all it takes is a student doing something nice to really make my day.
The rest of the day was a bit interesting. At one point, I had to go find the nurse; we'll just leave the events of the afternoon to that. It has now been confirmed that in a medical situation, this is basically my reaction, at least internally:
It's important to know your strengths as a teacher. But on to wardrobe choices.
Today's outfit will demonstrate that I am officially unable to control my desire to wear chambray on Friday. And I don't think I even care. I bought this shirt thinking it would be awesome to pair with some of the patterned pencil skirts I own. I also thought it would work well with some of the patterned shorts I've collected over the last few years. Then I realized I could wear it with jeans and a fun necklace. So that's what I did.
The jeans are actually a pair from Banana Republic that I love. I think they are rather kind to me. They don't have a ton of stretch, but I think that gives them a bit more of a polished feel, so I like that. It does mean that I don't wear them the day after I've visited Sugar Shack, but other than that, I'm a fan. I think this is the exact pair.
The necklace is probably 4 or 5 years old, but I feel like you could swap it for any of the 1400 necklaces like it on the J Crew Factory website. Here's the link to the necklace page. You'll see what I mean. I love having a few really colorful necklaces even if I only wear them when I've got an outfit full of neutrals. See what I mean?
But the shoes are my favorite part. I can't say enough about how comfortable they are, and I'm pretty sure they're going to go with almost everything in my closet for the summer. I wore them on Friday and again on Saturday. Whatever they're made of, it feels like my feet are free. They are Steve Madden, and, in my experience, it seems like Steve Madden shoe are normally pretty versatile and hold up pretty well. I also like that the brand makes some basic styles that they bring back each year. It makes it easy to know how something will fit. Here's the exact pair: Aren't they cute?
Okay--so that's all I have for the outfit. But I did say that the day ended in tears. For a while now, I've thought that online discussions are tricky--especially about teaching. It seems that most conversations about teaching tend to be full of warm-fuzzy stories or heartbreaking tales. It seems really hard to show the balance of beauty and disappointment that surrounds teaching.
So, when I began writing on this blog a few weeks ago, I thought that I would try to make this a space that focused on the beautiful things about teaching. But then I started thinking that I would never want to leave people feeling like "good" teachers are those that only have good days and love everything about their lives. I think that makes it hard for teachers who are struggling to know that they are not alone. And I think it makes it harder for teachers who are struggling to know how to process what they are facing.
So, the truth is, even though yesterday was awesome in so many ways, towards the end of the day, I could feel a bit of a grey cloud forming over my head. I have a birthday coming up this week, and it's one of those numbers that just seems to tip the scale closer to "old lady." I'm not a person fearful about getting old. Heck--I already have 3 potential plans for how I will start the second half of my life after I retire from teaching at the age of 57 (maybe 58...). But when you are my age, single, and (not to sound like a Jane Austen character, but) without prospects, birthdays can be tricky. I love so many things about my life--I have a job I love, kind friends, a loving family, a great roommate, etc. But I would be misrepresenting things if I didn't admit that sometimes I think about what is missing from the equation.
I say that knowing that everyone has something in life that didn't turn out the way they envisioned it. In the years I've been an "adult" I've had to figure out how to deal with these times. It's tempting to ignore them, or wallow, or tell yourself that if you were just stronger you wouldn't feel that way or attempt a self-inflicted makeover that will make you more eligible. But none of those things really work, no matter how much the rom-com world tells you otherwise.
For me, I've just come to the conclusion that part of being human is knowing that at any given time, at least one part of your life is probably not exactly as you would wish for it to be, and that's okay. And I think figuring out how to process that disappointment is important. For me, I just do what I did as a kid--I cry a little bit, possibly talk to a kind friend (that's what I did last night) and then I tend to feel better. I know it's not that simple for everyone, but for me, most of the time it is. So that's what I did last night on the way home from buying new pants. I don't write that to give anyone advice on how to deal with the disappointments of life or the uncertainties that come with certain stages of life. I write it to say that if, during certain points of the school year, you look around and think, "This is not how I saw things working out!" you are probably the most normal person on the planet. Don't feel like a freak. Don't think something is wrong with you. And don't feel like you can't talk to a friend about it. There--that's my advice. I hope that bit of honesty is helpful in some way. I would never want a fellow single lady (cue Beyonce) to feel like she's the only one that thinks about those things while the rest of us are just singing the praises of the single life.
And now I'm going to go check the local orchard's website to see if strawberries are ripe yet. Because it's almost jam season, and I am, indeed, just aging physically so that my physical age will match that of my mental state.
Today was the weirdest start to the day I've had as a teacher--and that includes the day I busted my chin open and my assistant principal took me to the emergency room...okay....so that day was weirder, but it was still weird.
I've been feeling a bit queasy the last few nights, and I've been trying to figure out why. And I woke up this morning feeling less than stellar, but I figured it was just because I hadn't slept too well.
Then while I was working out, I was feeling like a tough cookie, so I pushed myself pretty hard. I got in the shower, and I thought, "I think I'm going to be sick." Then I thought, "What does one do if one feels sick mid-hairwashing in a public space?" Then I thought, "I don't know, so I better not get sick." Even as I was walking up the stairs to leave the gym, I thought, "Hmmm...What does one do if one gets sick while merging into traffic." It was a bit of a troublesome way to start the day. Turns out, according to my track coach friend (and common sense), if you decide to really push yourself, make sure to eat something first. All that to say, I've never been quite so happy to feel normal as I do today. Several times today, I've thought, "It feels so great to not feel sick!" Ah the joys of finding out you don't have a stomach flu, you're just dumb.
Lucky for me, I had decided last night that today would be a bit of a casual Thursday. As I said yesterday, I tend to be more comfortable wearing casual clothes the closer to the end of the year we get. If I'm willing to be completely honest, today's outfit started because I had a pair of shoes I hadn't worn and I wanted to give them a try. It ended up, which it often does, that I didn't wear those shoes, but I did decide to hit up the stretchy jeans today. I know I've said before that I don't have jeans I love. That was a lie. I should have said that I don't have any blue jeans that I like. These grey jeans are the things dreams are made of. I love them. I could wear them every day. I actually went back to Banana Republic to ask them if these came in any other colors. I'm sad to report that I was told no. I think they've even revamped their entire denim line, and I haven't found a new cut of theirs that really works for me. Maybe this summer when I have some time I'll try to hunt down some jeans recommendations. For now, I'm sad to say, you're on your own.
This is the only grey pair they have now, and it might be the ones I have, but I'm not sure...
The shirt is one that I actually am not sure is the best fit for me, but I love shirts with ruffles. When I bought this one, I was in love, but then I wore it a few times and thought that it didn't look as good as I hoped. And I've tried over the years to get better at knowing that just because I like a particular trend doesn't mean that it likes me. Sometimes I say, "Whatever! I do what I want!" and I wear things I like even if they don't make me look runway ready (which would be the case with this one). Other times I decide that I don't have to follow every trend, and I pass on things that don't work well for my body, my lifestyle or my personal modesty standards. I think either choice is respectable. I don't think women should feel like they can only wear things if they make them look "hot" by modern beauty standards, but I also feel like women shouldn't feel forced to follow trends that don't work for them. Basically, my approach to fashion is:
This particular shirt is one that I like because I feel like I can make it work-appropriate or make it super girly depending on what I wear with it. So much of what I own is meant for work, and I have a hard time justifying spending money on clothes that I plan to wear for a night out or for a Saturday of sightseeing, then I get annoyed when I don't have anything to wear for those occasions. If I find a piece that I think I can wear for multiple reasons, I get excited.
A few notes about shirts like this one--I've had trouble in the past with shirts like this one because I wouldn't think about washing instructions until after I had worn it, and then I would find out that the cost of my shirt just went up dramatically because it's dry clean only, and I can't wear it more than once before I want to wash it. This one is washing machine safe, so I love it.
These shirts do seem to seem to have static problems, so I have a little can of Static Guard in my desk so I don't spend the whole day with my shirt stuck to me, highlighting every part of my being.
I secretly love shirts like this one because they are as comfy as a t-shirt but make you look more dressed up. I also have some work to do to get my midsection (there's a euphemism) into shape, so I really like shirts that leave that part of my body a bit of a mystery. I'm just sayin'.
The cardigan and shoes are things I've talked about before (shoes: a solid black shoe and cardigan: a bright cardigan good for a pop of color with any outfit). If you've been following along the last few weeks, you've probably figured out that I'm a HUGE fan of neutrals/basics with a pop of color. That's basically what's going on here. :)
Last thought: jewelry. Both my necklace and earrings are from Banana Republic. I think the necklace is 3+ years old and the earrings might be from last year. Here are the closest things I could find:
