I'm a vending machine genius...

So I'm spending the week in a dorm at the University of Arkansas.  "But you're not a college student," you are thinking, right?  You are correct.  I'm here for an AP summer institute.  I've learned many valuable lessons, but the most important involves the vending machines.  I got back to the dorms tonight after some yummy cajun food and a fun night of catching up with a friend from high school.  But I decided to grab something completely lacking nutritional value before checking my email.  I was debating between Skittles and some chocolate cupcakes.  I went for the cupcakes...but they got stuck.  I tried my best "shake the machine" moves, but with no results.  So then I had to decide what to do next...this is where the genius kicks in.  I realized that instead of getting another couple of cupcakes (to, of course, set the first set of cupcakes free) I could get the junk food (Skittles of course) above it and that would knock the cupcakes down on the way.  It totally worked!  

OH--and be careful of judging others.  Today I was mocking (in my head of course--I'm a good little Southern girl at heart...we don't make fun of people to their faces :) ) a guy in the student union.  He had two HUGE pre-packaged pastries.  I thought it was pretty ridiculous, until I was staring at the vending machine as it held my Hostess cakes hostage.  Then I instantly thought, "I bet that's what happened to that guy!" 

Pro/Con lists and their limits...

I have been aching for weeks to begin reading the books that have slowly piled up in my "things to read ASAP" stack by my bed.  At the top of the pile was this one: 

It is a bit dry, but the ideas make it worth the read.  I got to immediately put my new knowledge of game theory to work in analyzing the parental behaviors I witnessed at graduation.  But, by far, my favorite selection from the book was Darwin's list.  It turns out that Darwin decided to make a pro/con list when deciding if he should marry his love interest.  Want to know his reasoning?  Here ya go:  

Pros of getting married: Object to be beloved and played with

         Better than a dog anyhow

         Home and someone to take care of house

         Charms of music and female chit-chat

         And a nice, soft wife on a sofa with a good fire and books and music perhaps

Pros of single life: Conversation with clever men at clubs

not forced to visit relatives and bend in every trifle

absence of anxiety and responsibility

money for books

So what was his conclusion?  According to this author, Darwin decided, "My God, it is intolerable to think of spending one's whole life like a neuter bee, working, working, and nothing after all--No, no, won't do."  So he proposed.  

So there's that--your bit of random trivia for the day. Have a lovely 4th of July.  

        

Forgiveness

I once heard a sermon that really stuck with me. It was all about forgiving even when the other person hasn't asked for it...kind of like secret forgiveness. As an adult, I kind of miss the childhood "I'm sorry" situations where an outside party forced those who wronged us to apologize and "mean it." Maybe this was just me, but rarely did adults let me or those who wronged me get away with the gruff and clearly insincere "I'm sorry" followed by an angry smirk. I remember one time my mom decided the best way to get my sister and me to really be sorry was to stick us in the same room until we apologized to each other. She's lucky this worked out as well as it did. It's surprising that we didn't walk out of the room missing chunks of our hair or a tooth. But as a child, I think my sense of justice was formed by this--that when I was hurt, the person was called out and forced to make amends, and I was required to do the same.

Of course as I got older, I had to learn the hard lesson of forgiving bigger hurts than simply having the head of my Barbie doll ripped off. But regardless of the offense, I think I grew up believing that forgiveness was something that was earned--that one had to be not just sorry, but really, really sorry. And they might even have to suffer for a certain amount of time while I decided if I wanted to forgive them. The problem with that, is that forgiveness is seen as a commodity that the injured party can use as he/she chooses. But more than that, it is assumed that those who hurt us will always seek forgiveness. As an adult, I can now see that sometimes those people are either unaware of the injury, or worst of all, don't care. To completely oversimplify the situation, for example, the BMW convertible that clearly disregarded the crosswalk sign and then honked at me for being in his way as he sped by me the other day in no way thought he needed my forgiveness. I thought of many things he needed--none of them positive.

I think it's interesting because, as a teacher, I can require that my students apologize to me or their classmates when they are in the wrong, but they rarely mean it and that annoys me even more. I have to constantly choose to hold them to a high standard of behavior without holding a grudge for the things they say and to do to me when they don't like my expectations. But they are teenagers. Even under the best of circumstances they are required to roll their eyes and sigh dramatically at least three times a day. :)

But what about the big stuff--the situations in which you can't just chalk it up to teenage hormones? I think this pastor's sermon struck me because he said something I've known for a while but kind of dismissed as a cliche--waiting around for someone to apologize is a waste of time. As I think of exactly what I will say when he/she asks for forgiveness and formulate the perfect speech, I'm missing out on time I could be doing something else. The emotional energy and hope spent waiting for the day when the person finally sees the light and gets it could be so much more wisely invested in the people around me who actually care. Because let's be honest--most people that we wait to forgive either have no idea we are holding on to that, or worst of all--don't care. So yeah--learning to forgive and move on isn't so much about learning to be selfless...it's really more about self-preservation...it's about using my time and energy more effectively. And I have to remind myself of that.

The Newest Addition...

My sister and brother-in-law are currently in Ethiopia meeting their absolutely beautiful daughter. I just keep looking at the pictures on their blog and thinking, "I can't believe that's my niece." I now know that until I get to meet her, time will feel like it is standing still. If you want to check her out, their blog address is www.alongroadhome.wordpress.com.

The first day of summer...

So at approximately 1:30 today, I walked out of the school building and began my summer. So what exactly does a hip, young teacher such as myself do to celebrate? Cranks up the Beyonce and begins the process of putting her apartment back together. Be honest...you know you are jealous. Luckily for me, the day/evening got much more exciting. My awesome new friend invited me to join her at the Nats game where they punished the Red Sox. I'm not sure if you could really call it a punishment, but I will, just for dramatic effect. The game was fun, the weather was lovely, and the company was awesome. I did find out early in the game that Michael Jackson had died. It's just so weird to say that. And it continues to prove my theory that celebrities die in groups. So strange.

On a completely random note, I think this may be my best summer yet. I can't believe how many cool things are going on in my home area this summer. What is on my social calendar you might ask. Well, for one, Top Gun is playing next Friday at the outdoor "I love the 80's" film festival. Also--this coming Monday I am scheduled to have my first encounter with a multi-level driving range...very exciting. And I have tickets to the July 4th baseball game--and according to the signs tonight--that includes a free mini-flag. What more could a girl ask for? Okay--on that note, I will go to bed.

Giraffe's and what you can live without...

As some of you may know, I am often intrigued by animal behavior and biology. I sometimes get to sneak in a bit of animal fun into English. I pretend to do this because I'm appealing to members of my diverse learning community that might not be English fanatics, but in truth, I just think animals are cute. All that to say, as I think I may have mentioned here before, I often use pictures to practice vocab words with my students. The other day I was so impressed with their curiosity and knowledge when I presented them with a new picture. I showed them a picture similar to this one:

I'm not really sure if this is a common giraffe expression, but it amused me. What really impressed me was that in every class, one kid piped up to ask what the point was of the little horn-ish things on the tops of their heads. Of course, I didn't know, so we came up with several possible explanations. We inevitable decided that it was probably something like our appendix...that could be completely wrong, but it satisfied us. (One of my real smarty pants brought up the formal term for unneeded parts--vestigial structures...clearly she has been paying attention in science class.) So that led to me saying that I was always surprised by how many organs you can live without. We started listing the ones we knew of...you can really live with quite a few missing parts...and we didn't even discuss limbs. So I have a question for you. What all can humans live without? I really want to see how long of a list we can come up with. There might even be a bit of a prize for most surprising. And things you can do without part of count as well...so being able to live with half of an organ counts. Lest you think I am one of those rambling teachers, this conversation took approximately 3 minutes, and on review day sometimes you need a 3 minute break from English terms. Or at least that's how I justified it in my mind. :)

Reunions, dresses and the meaning of life...

So last Friday night I set off to find a dress for my high school reunion. I know what you are thinking: "How can someone who gets mistaken for a student in the lunch line go to a reunion?" But despite my youthful appearance (ha!), alas, it is time to partake in a tradition as beloved as...hmmm...I got nothin'. All that to say, I set off for the mall with a handful of discount cards (I refuse to call them coupons--I'm not buying cheese in bulk; I'm buying a dress). I thought that, surely with a whole evening and a huge mall at my disposal, I would be able to find something to wear.

This is where I should give some background. I've been a bit picky about this purchase, because, if I'm completely honest, I'm not really sure how I am going to feel spending an evening small talking with people I didn't really know that well 10 years ago and really don't know now. I think the line from _The Wedding Date_ captures my mindset best: "I['m going to] feel like crap, and if I'm gonna feel like crap, I want to look hot doing it." So off I went, to ensure that if I feel like crap that night, at least I will think I look good. :)

I went to a couple of stores, and at the final one, I found a few dresses I thought might work. I had explained to the sales woman (we'll call her Barbara) that I was looking for a reunion dress. She gave me some suggestions and sent me on my way. The dressing area was hoppin' this particular evening, and little did I know that those waiting for their loved ones to decided if they wanted grey pants or black, were watching my fashion show. After I finally somewhat decided on a dress, another sales woman threw in her two cents (we'll call her Becky). When she found out I was thinking about wearing the dress in question to a reunion, Becky informed me that the dress was too casual and would never do. I disagreed and said I didn't want to be overdressed. In an effort to prove the error of my thinking, Becky roped in an innocent bystander and asked her, as a mother, if she thought the dress would work. The woman said she thought so, but she actually liked a different dress I had tried on better (this is when I realized I was not an island after all...Simon and Garfunkel had led me astray). Yet another sales woman (we'll call her Sally) came along and begged me to try the other dress back on, just to see. Being the sweet, Southern girl I am, I obliged. Once I put it on, all aforementioned parties agreed it was a better choice. I said I felt hippy (and not like in a granola kind of way). They all said I was wrong--it was a good choice. And then things got even more interesting when a guy waiting on his significant other piped up and said he agreed...this was a good dress for a reunion. I had to laugh, because it always surprises me the things that draw people in. I think people are really sympathetic in some of the most unusual situations. I guess everyone can relate to wanting to find something that makes you feel good when you know the situation might be tricky. And both of the non-sales people in this conversation had been there, done that. So I bought the dress...and the one I was told wouldn't work (I think in my mind I am hoping that my life will becoming interesting enough that I just might need an extra fun dress...).

Want to know what I'm wearing to the reunion? I woke up the next morning, decided I didn't really feel crazy about either option, and went out to buy a full-priced, no discount dress that I loved in the first store I had gone to the night before. Some things are just worth full price I think. We'll see how I feel in a month when I'm actually there.

It's interesting though, because I started writing this blog entry because I was about to purchase my ticket and went to look at the RSVP list. As I scrolled through names, I really started having a bit of a moment. It's weird--because I love my life, my job, my tiny apartment, but I sometimes feel like seeing people you haven't seen in a while requires you to justify your existence. And I'm pretty sure that, on paper or from an outsider's view, my life is rather unimpressive. So what do I do with that? I can become self righteous or apologetic or I can pretend like I'm too good to be wrapped up in worldly possessions, but building a facade is such a waste of energy. When I start to think about it, I realize that the real evidence of a life well lived over these last 10 years isn't an impressive resume or a surprising net worth, its contentment. So I took a deep breath, realized that having strangers feel impressed with my life isn't really that important, and bought my ticket. Who knows what all of my classmates will think of what I've done with my life, but why should that really matter? I'm content most days (anyone who says they are always content is a liar...I think). And that's enough. Or at least it is at this moment. I might just have to remind myself of that later.